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Hogarth judge

November 2017

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Hogarth judge

My dad's in the hospital. It's that time of year.

My dad wound up in the emergency room yesterday; he started having chest pains in the morning. He's getting a heart catheterisation done today. I'd appreciate your prayers.

I guess it's that time of year.

Thanksgiving and Exmas --- how I hate them! Bad memories flock to these occasions like crows to a ploughed-under cornfield. To me, a "holiday" is a day you can relax and do what you like. Thanksgiving and Exmas are the exact opposite.

It wouldn't be the "holidays" without somebody gets sick. I think it's the rituals themselves that do it. The unwanted travel, the unwanted guests, the disrupted routine, and the obnoxious potlatch all raise blood pressure and spread germs. It's not surprising that holiday memories are of forced socializing punctuated by funerals. You are nevertheless expected to brave the crowds and put on a jolly face.

The sentimental imagery of family togetherness is just nasty. It just underlines the certainty that you will always be outside looking in. And it's the damned feeling of impotence in the face of it all --- that there is nothing you can do to prevent its yearly reenactment, no matter how much despair it brings --- that is most galling about them.

Comments

my prayers you have. your poor dad. hope he feels better soon.
it really is that time of year. i'm glad my mother isolated us from most of the family when my older brother was small.


good thoughts for your father. i'm sure he'll feel much better once the whole thing's overwith.

Update

Just a brief update. Brought Dad home from the hospital late yesterday. They actually found that his heart seemed in pretty good shape for a fellow his age, and saw no muscle damage.

He's somewhat grumpy because he isn't supposed to lift heavy things, or drive for at least 48 hours. This of course means that the six hour trek to Michigan is out of the question, and he can't do much puttering around the house. I'm mostly relieved. We went out together and had a Thanksgiving brunch at his club. So far it's the pleasantest Thanksgiving I can remember for at least twenty years.
Aaaaargh. On a junket to San Mateo at present, I just saw this.

;XKJVNVJFxxx. Our thoughts are with you. The one thing we can be Thankful for is that he will be all right. Not like our uncle on Halloween last year. We were supposed to meet him in a town upstate from us and never got there. They called us late that night and told us not to come because he had chest pains and thought he ate the wrong thing and when they didn't let up he checked himself into Mt. Sinai. 82 years old (relatively young for our family) and he jogs, eats right, is very active and had 98% blockage and had to have a stent and he's still supposed to be careful.

sethrenn says "Yes, this is the first Thanksgiving we've had in a few years where nobody died or got seriously ill."

The stress levels around here are moderate to high owing to the fact that neither sethrenn nor we are OUT either as gay to anybody in their family with the exception of their brother. Nobody knows we're plural except sethrenn's friend Garrick, who is a lot like you in some ways... AND IT IS A FULL TIME JOB BEING NICE TO THEIR MOM and going like this all the time:
^____________^ just like you said

I guess we were fortunate -- holidays in our family of origin were one of the few times everybody pulled together and celebrated in an idealistic way, no overdoing it and nothing phony about it. At least it set a good example.

Strength and luck to you and your dad and mom.